Tag Archive: Empath


Meditation: Round 2

When something doesn’t seem to feel quite right, it probably isn’t. This is so true especially when you are talking about yourself and how you feel. If you have been reading along, you are familiar with the fact that I just feel out of whack. I am stressed, antsy, exhausted, etc. and so I decided that I needed to take steps towards bettering myself and finding my center. I am trying new things and evaluating how they make me feel. So far I am incredibly excited about what is happening!

I have definitely decided that I think I love meditation. ūüôā

I consider my first attempt on Saturday a successful one and knew that I needed to try it again. So Sunday evening right before I went to bed, I dove into attempt number two! I sat on the floor of our bedroom and set the timer for 10 minutes. I immediately began to concentrate on my breathing while trying to tune out the crazy thoughts that run rampant in my mind. Part of me felt silly for what I was doing, but the bigger part knew that I needed to give this a serious go in order to find the peace and balance that is so desperately needed right now. Once I relaxed into my meditation, I decided to start telling my body to relax. Starting at the top of my head and working my way down to my toes, I let my muscles relax. I told the stress to leave my body. That it was no longer welcome. Once I finished that, I had this little tingly-like feeling telling me to recite some affirmations. From what I can only assume was my inner voice, I found the perfect affirmation/mantra for me:

“I am whole. I am happy. I am healthy. I am loved. I am Love.”

I kept reciting that over and over again until the timer went off. Before opening my eyes, I rolled my shoulders and did some light stretching and I felt great! I climbed into bed and fell right asleep! Now it could have been a coincidence, but I choose to believe that because I had that 10 minute unwind and recharge session, but I slept like a baby! It was amazing! Call me crazy if you wish, but this is happening.

I am challenging myself to meditate once a day for at least 10 minutes. I really, truly think that this is going to be incredible! Who’s with me?

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Well, I did it. I just finished my very first meditation! I had high aspirations to be sitting in a secluded spot outside in nature and really doing it right but apparently the Universe had other plans. After a very long (54 hour) work week and a bout with¬†a flu bug, I decided I needed to try it now. There’s no time like the present, right? So I gathered myself to a nice little chunk on the floor of my apartment and set my timer for 10 minutes. Not really sure what to do or expect, I tried to focus on breathing. The first thing that I noticed was that my mind sure is loud. There is so much going on, running about in the background,¬†and I¬†never even had a clue.. No wonder I am tired all the time! Sheesh!

I tried to clear my mind and focus on breathing once again. Sitting with my back straight and my head held high I tried to consciously relax my body and just breathe. The most ridiculous thoughts were popping into my head. “I am breathing to heavy.” “Is that how I sound all the time?” “Am I breathing right?” Am I breathing right?? Seriously? I have been breathing my whole life and my brain chooses this moment to ask if I am doing it right? Wow, Jen. Just, wow. Focus.

Once I got the hang of breathing normally, I was able to focus more on myself as a whole. I tend to carry my stress in between my shoulder blades and decided that I wanted to remove that stress. I tried to focus my thoughts and tell myself to release that stress down through my body and into the floor to be absorbed. I know this sounds crazy, but I felt it move. Seriously. I could feel the fiery sensation that typically manifests between my shoulders, moving down the center of my back. And me, being easily distracted, got excited! I lost focus and had to start from the beginning again. I’m not entirely sure what to think of that, but I know it happened. Call me crazy if you wish, but I know what I felt.

Before I knew it, my timer went off! I lasted the whole 10 minutes without opening my eyes or giving in to my distractions. It was pretty cool. I learned that not only is my mind is incredibly loud and messy, but also beautiful and powerful. Did I totally heal my body and relieve all the tension? No. But I sure as heck feel a lot better now than I did before I started. I will most definitely be trying this again. Here’s to hoping I can find my sweet spot!

Black Friday-The Aftermath

Well I did it. I survived another Black Friday working retail. I have a lot of mixed emotions about this retail holiday this year. My sister and I have been going shopping on Black Friday for the last 12 years in a row and this was the first year we didn’t go together. She’s 9 months pregnant and I had to work at 4am so that kind of put a damper on our tradition this year. It’s not really the shopping that I look forward too, but the time I get to spend with her just enjoying the season and each other. For some reason, this year we both just weren’t happy with what Black Friday has become. The sales weren’t that great and there wasn’t anything we just HAD to have and it seemed like all of the fun and excitement had been sucked away. I hope it will transition back into something more enjoyable and less about all the grumpy people grumbling about anything they can that might go wrong. There is a slight chance of that, right?

Since October I have been doing a lot of reading about what it means to be an Empath and how to cope with my emotions a little better. I have been trying to compartmentalize the emotions I have been feeling that aren’t mine and distinguish them from my own. It’s been a bit of a slow process. Lucky me though, I work in retail and can have plenty of practice in large crowds. Today really put that to a test. I have been up since 3 am and as hard as I tried when I got off work, I just couldn’t turn my brain off enough to nap. The amount of people that I interacted with today and the different emotions I’ve felt has been interesting to say the least. It is exhausting to try and protect yourself from the emotions of those around you when you are highly sensitive to them. Impatience, frustration, and anger were among the top of the list for the customers in our store today. This, I am realizing, is why I had trouble trying to nap when I got home.¬† I am so keyed up with all of these feelings, that I couldn’t settle down.

Constantly trying to block unwanted emotions while working with hundreds of people is just crazy. I need to learn how to do that better. My body aches, my head hurts, and my anxiety levels have been through the roof today. I know it is common after a long shift to be tired, but I am so glad I know why I am so much more than just tired. Black Friday shopping isn’t for the faint of heart, neither is working retail on Black Friday. Especially for someone like me. Here’s to hoping I can learn to better block myself and get back to enjoying Black Friday!

Breaking Out of My Box

It has been over a week now since I received a life-changing reading. I feel like I have been living on a high. There is something so freeing about having clarity and a direction to pursue when it comes to my emotions.¬†I have realized this week that I had been trying to fit myself into a tiny, neat little box. Always questioning why I was¬†such a hot mess. Trying to¬†hide the fact that my emotions were mirroring those around me. I¬†felt like I¬†had no right to feel the way I did. Those people were experiencing their situations first hand and¬†who¬†was I to think that I could¬†even begin to understand what they were going through? I felt selfish¬†and self-centered. Above all, I felt confused. I have never been one to be all about myself. With me, it¬†has always been about helping others and putting their needs above my own. So why was I feeling it necessary to relate my friends’ experience to myself? I was lost and¬†I didn’t even know it.

This week I have begun to learn that I don’t need to hide my emotions. I shouldn’t have to¬†try and force myself into a tiny, neat little box. Life is messy. Things aren’t¬†always black and white and they¬†won’t¬†always be able to be put into specific categories. As people, we try¬†so hard¬†to fit into ‘social norms’ and we are losing our individuality in the process. We weren’t created to all be the same. Every single person has individual thoughts, feelings, and experiences, all of which are valid. No two people are exactly alike. Why do we feel the need to squash ourselves to fit in? If losing myself is the price, I don’t want to fit in any longer. ¬†I am breaking out of my box and man does it feel good!

A Revelation

I learned something about myself this week. I guess it is something that I have known about myself for a long time but never knew what it meant or that there was a deeper meaning behind it. But the moment it was spoken to me, something just clicked. You can call it a moment of profound clarity or maybe an awakening of sorts if you wish, but all I know is now I can’t un-hear it.

I am going to ask that you keep an open mind as you read this post. This week I met an Angel Reader. Now, before you completely write this post off as a crazy lady’s account of a psychic scam, I urge you to continue. I had a great deal of skepticism going into the reading and I wasn’t sure what to expect at all. All I can tell you is that it was amazing. And in some incredible ways, life affirming. I will spare you the complete details of the group reading, all you need to know is that this woman was spot on with everything she was saying to everyone at the reading. She read our Auras, gave us a spirit reading, and¬†allowed us to ask questions. I am still blown away by the experience, and still processing.

While reading my Aura, she informed me that I am a bright blue which is apparently indicative of an Empath. She asked me if I liked going to malls. I explained that they weren’t among my favorite places and that I typically don’t like large crowds. She said that is actually quite common among Empaths due to the fact that they tend to absorb feelings and emotions of people around them and large crowds tend to be emotionally¬†overwhelming. We talked about my tendency to feel emotionally connected to those around me. How I am the person that others are drawn to when they need to talk. That when my friends are experiencing grief, I am deeply affected by it. My whole life I have always been the ’emotional one.’ The crier. The soft heart. After speaking with this woman, my outlook has completely changed. Everything she was saying made so much sense to me.

For as long as I can remember, I have always felt emotions deeply. When I am talking with someone and I tell them that I know how they feel, it’s not just a clich√©. I really know how they are feeling. It’s hard to explain, but I really can feel it deep down in my soul. This is why I cry when I read a tragic news article, or feel a deep sense of sadness when a friend is experiencing a difficult situation. Movies, books, and even TV shows have a profound effect on me. I am so emotionally invested in every aspect of my life and that is just how it has always been. I’ve always just written it off as me being overly emotional. That I was just a hot mess, and even though I couldn’t¬†explain why I was crying after watching¬†Say Yes to the Dress, I was ok with me.¬†After hearing what this reader had to say to me, it was like being able to see my whole life in a different perspective. One that made sense. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true.

For example: I absolutely love watching Glee. I think the draw for me was the musical aspect. I have always said that I wish my life had a soundtrack and that my life would be complete if I could burst out in random song and dance. Last year one of the¬†main actors¬†passed away unexpectedly and the show did a tribute episode for the actor. I started crying exactly¬† 1 minute into the¬†episode and continued crying well past the ending of it. For the next two weeks, I felt really impacted by it. I kept¬†replaying the songs and scenes in my head and I couldn’t¬†shake the intense sadness I felt for a man I had never met before. Now looking back, I understand where that intense sadness came from. There is so much freedom in finally knowing why my emotions are always so intense.

I know it sounds crazy. I’m¬† still trying to process it myself. I am doing a lot of online reading and research and it all makes perfect sense to me.¬†I am not crazy. Being able to connect with people on such a deep emotional level is really a beautiful thing. This is a really exciting revelation for me and I cannot wait to learn more about it and about myself in turn.

Stay tuned, this is going to be amazing.